About Your Sexual History
Unless you are a lifelong virgin, you will have had a sexual history with other people. And the last thing your boyfriend wants to think about is you being with another man. For some men, this is very difficult and it drives them absolutely mad. If you have had a rather active sex life before you met him, then your boyfriend might have some trouble dealing with the thought of it. But it is something that he has to accept.
Your partner should never throw your past in your face or hold it against you. Whether it’s ancient history (or only a few months ago), let it stay there, and move on because you are living in the now and that is all that matters. He is your boyfriend now, not the person from your history.
Acceptance Of Your Sexual History
Even if your sexual past was ‘colourful’, that is now in the past. You have chosen to be with your current boyfriend and he must accept you for who you are. And that means everything. It doesn’t mean he has to like your sexual history, of course. But it means he can’t hold it against you. It’s completely unfair for him to want to date you and then start nit-picking about details from your past.
If he’s constantly bringing up your past, it could mean that he is insecure. He needs reassurance that he means as much to you as they mean. But having to need the reassurance means that he is very insecure. Tell him outright that he’s going to have to accept everything about you if he wants to date you. Let him know he has two choices:
a) You two break up and he becomes one of those men from your past.
b) You two stay together…but he can never mention your sexual past ever again. Never. Not even when you two are fighting. The past is finished with and he doesn’t need to compare himself to the men from your past.
A Little White Lie About Your Past
You can learn from your past and if some of your sexual conquests were mistakes, forget about them. You need to move on. But You do need to know that a few moments of pleasure from hooking up can be damaging to your reputation and self-esteem. If you are happy with your current partner, then you have obviously chosen to stop sleeping around. If that’s what you want to do, then that’s all that matters.
But If your boyfriend is insecure when you meet him. Then a little white lie about your past is okay. You don’t have to reveal how many sexual partners you have had in the past. It’s not the best honest route, but it will help to make him feel special.
He Needs To Get Over It
If your boyfriend cannot get his head around the fact that you had a past before him. And he keeps throwing your sexual history in your face, then he isn’t the right man to be with. You need to get rid of him and find someone who will care about you in the here and now.
You might also like to read this advice if you think your boyfriend is cheating.