Life Lesson #1 How To Have A Disastrous Wedding
So we all want our wedding to be the perfect day. but sometimes when it is thrown together in a rush. It is disastrous! Nothing goes right and your dreams are in tatters. All of the money and time you have spent putting together is wasted and it is so upsetting to happen. So if you are thinking of rushing your big day, you need to read this to see how to have a disastrous wedding to the person you love.
Have Your First Make Up And Hair Rehearsal The night Before
You are asking for hair and makeup disasters if you leave it until the last minute for practising before the big day. Do not offer to pay someone from Facebook £20 just because they can do make up for their friends or the local carnival. Their friends and carnival make-up is likely to be more suitable for a drag queen than for a bride. Book someone who can do makeup professionally or ask a close friend who knows your colour tones and bone structure.
Even if you are doing your makeup yourself, you need to practice it a few days beforehand to make sure you have the right tones and shades that you want. Watch YouTube videos for makeup ideas for brides.
Get Drunk On Your Wedding Morning For A Disastrous Wedding
Having a drink on the morning of your wedding is fine. But having 3 pints and 6 gin and tonics before lunch is not. You want to remember your wedding day, not be falling down the aisle and throwing up before the reception. On your wedding day, you do not need alcohol to have a good time. You should be drunk in love instead.
Blame Your Bridesmaids For Everything That Goes Wrong At Your Disastrous Wedding
Your bridesmaids are there to help you prepare for your wedding and to walk you down the aisle. Your bridesmaids are there to help you celebrate in the run-up to your wedding and they are there to help you to shop for your dress. They are not there to be screamed and shouted at when something goes wrong. The bridesmaids are not there to be blamed when you become a bridezilla. Respect them and all they do for you.
Forget To Wear Appropriate Clothes
Think about what you are wearing. Even if you have a respectable gown, don’t ruin it by changing into a dress that barely covers your underwear. Your guests will take the mickey out of you for years to come. Especially if you have a wardrobe malfunction and your boobies fall out of your dress.
Be Lewd In Front Of Friends And Family
If you have been drinking for most of the day, you tend to get a loose tongue and you start effing and jeffing at people. All the swear words come out. This is not a good look on a bride. Think about your parents, grandparents or children who might see this behaviour.
Slag The Bride Or Groom Off To Guests
If you are the bride and you are watching the groom make a speech, do not mock them. Do not take the piss out of them with your mates. And vice versa, because you are married now. If you are going to mock your life partner or slag them off, why would you marry them in the first place?
Cut Too Many Corners On Food And Drink
If your budget is small and you are doing a reception yourself. Then it is fine to buy the buffet boxes from Iceland and do it yourself. You can put on quite a good buffet for less than £100. But if you are paying someone to do your wedding meal, then think about who you are hiring. Don’t hire someone just because your Facebook buddy recommended them. Collect references and see photos of meals they have provided before. If a cater seems too good to be true, then he probably is.
Argue With Your New Husband Or Wife
Tensions are always high at family events like weddings and funerals. You can never make everyone in the family happy with your choices. So with both sides of the families coming together, it could get tense. There is always someone who doesn’t like someone else. But even if it gets really stressful, do not argue with your new husband or wife. This is not how you want to start wedded bliss. It is awkward for your guests to see too. If something upsets you with your bride or groom. hold your tongue until after the wedding.
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